Praxis: Liberation ParentingI am in the process of developing a workshop for the Rethinking Education Conference held in Dallas, Texas each labor weekend. I have been thinking about my parenting process and what it means to me, as well as re-reading Paulo Freire’s work, Pedagogy of the Oppressed. I came upon the idea of “Liberation Parenting” as my workshop title because it expands Freire’s work beyond educational settings to the parent-child relationship. Freire writes, “Liberation is praxis: the action and reflection of men and women upon their world in order to transform it. Those truly committed to the cause of liberation can accept neither the mechanistic concept of consciousness as an empty vessel to be filled, nor the use of banking methods of domination (propaganda, slogans – deposits) in the name of liberation.” (Pedagogy of the Oppressed, p. 79) Liberatory parenting is also praxis. It requires action and reflection in order for us to leave behind our dominant socialization to develop authentic and respectful relationships with the children in our lives. For me, discomfort and conflict are signs that I am not engaging in liberatory parenting. Recently I have been struggling in my relationship with Greyson (now 3). I have written about Martel (8) quite often, as he has been my teacher in becoming a more reflective parent. He was the first to help expose the hypocrisy of my thinking and actions as a parent. Much of this awakening process became more prominent around the time Greyson was born. Now that Greyson is more verbal and is experiencing the natural limitations of being in a 3-year old body as well as being part of family unit that includes a sibling, I feel more conflict in our relationship. I have found myself in intense struggles (internally and externally) with the way in which he has been expressing his true self. In many ways, I feel as though my learning process is starting all over again. In effect, it feels like I am at the bottom of the spiral working my way through the same issues (yes, MY issues) that I faced with Martel. Although it is an exaggeration to say that I am at the bottom of the spiral, it does feel as though I am looking at the same issues within myself, hopefully from a different point further up the spiral. What I have found over the last month is that I was not engaged in the praxis of liberation. Instead, I was acting (or reacting) without reflection. I am spending more serious time reflecting upon my actions, in particular those that create discomfort for me and/or Greyson. I had fallen into autopilot, acting and reacting, and as a consequence, frustrated at the outcomes. Without taking the time to reflect and come back to the relationship with new perspectives and actions, all I was doing was recreating the powerlessness and marginalization for Greyson that is the hallmark of childhood oppression. I am SO much a work in progress. Each day brings opportunities for me to challenge myself to overcome my early learnings and socialization. I feel grateful that both Martel and Greyson are strong-willed enough to call me out in their own ways to ensure I stay true to my values and principles and continue to practice becoming a liberatory parent.
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